Overcoming My Fear of Starting a Blog Thanks to the Solstice Sun Cycle
I posted the image above to my Facebook account today.
Little did I know it would lead me down a path of self-discovery that would inspire me to empower myself by overcoming a challenge I have had for a long time: my fear of creating my own Blog.
What would I have to fear?
The frightened "little girl" inside me can tell you.
She is afraid she is not smart enough.
She is afraid she is not very interesting.
She is afraid she will not follow through on continuing this Blog and will succumb to the false comfort of laziness.
But her biggest fear of all is something I suspect we all can relate to: FEAR OF REJECTION.
Can you relate?
I suspect you have a frightened child inside you, too.
He/she did not get the nurturing needed to grow up feeling safe.
It is our job, as adults, to change that.
This comes through acceptance and self-knowledge.
Easier said that done, huh?
Starting my own Blog is taking me outside my safety zone, that comfortable little cocoon where I can hide myself from the world and build a fortress so I do not have to feel vulnerable.
Guess, what I realized today? Willingness to be vulnerable is part of mastering life on earth.
I had to ask myself: "Am I being authentic and standing in my own integrity?"
The tough answer was: "No! Not when you are trying to hide who you truly are because somebody MIGHT not agree with what you have to say and make you feel hurt."
That is NOT standing in your power.
Which leads me to the Sun (and tarot) ....
Today is Solstice. It is the day when the sun will shine for the longest period of time, a turning point in a new cycle of fecundity and change.
The sun is a powerful symbol of fertility because it feeds its energy to Mother Earth in order nurture and to sustain life.
In the Thoth tarot deck (which I use for self-discovery and for teaching), the dual aspects of ourselves (light/joyous/life-affirming and the dark/shadow/fear-based) are joined together as dancing twins, reveling in the Sun. The conscious and the subconscious are moving together in complete harmony.
Fear is not holding us back in this image. Instead, fear is moving us forward to propel positive change.
When I woke up today, I felt sad because I had to move recently and I have not adjusted well to changing my attitude toward being in a new environment.
When I realized it was Solstice today, I questioned myself as to why I was allowing myself to wallow in self-pity on a day where the Sun (being one's authentic self) is being celebrated.
If the Sun and Solstice are being celebrated as symbols of creativity and life, wouldn't it make better sense to use this cycle in a productive way rather than brooding?
The answer of course, was a big, booming "Yes! Use this time to instigate positive change."
So thank you, Sol, for shining your bright light on me in order for me to see past the fear and the darkness. Balance is necessary in ALL things so I thank you for being a shining catalyst for change.
Using this cycle to see how it only takes one small step to overcome inertia and to shine inwardly (and outwardly) is to dance in the sunlight and be one's true, authentic self.
Welcome to my Blog. This is my first step forward out of the fear of rejection and into the light of vulnerability.
Many people have told me I have wisdom to share. I will do so here by telling you my personal stories based on my experiences with Love, Loss, Laughter and more Light Language.
Please subscribe if you are called to do so.
I AM Lola Singer. I AM a student of life ... just like you. Let's learn together.